I’m very fortunate to consistently find myself on the receiving end of flattering press. Frankly it’s really nice to hear someone say “nice work,” about a room makeover or DIY project, instead of “you suck, your house sucks, your dog probably sucks too”. Plus, these features and shout outs have helped my little blog grow, opened doors for me (including two new projects I can’t wait to spill the beans about) and even, at times, motivated me to keep sharing when I’ve fallen into a blogging slump. On the flip side, as the blog grows I find myself on the receiving end of more negative comments too. Good Housekeeping and Country Living recently picked up the story of my budget-friendly kitchen makeover and featured it online. Boy, oh boy, was there ever an uproar in the comments, from folks who preferred the before – they wanted the cathedral upper cabinets, the honey oak, the green laminate counters and tile – everything, as-is, don’t touch a thing! I horrified them by jettisoning it all.
In the past, I have tried to be diplomatic when I talk about what the kitchen looked like before, in case someone reading has a similar kitchen which they love. It brings me no joy to make someone feel bad about their home. But I’m going to be brutally honest for a moment. To me the kitchen screamed 1990s and the upper cabinets were painfully awkward – not the cornucopia of storage some people think they were. I also dislike cathedral doors with a fiery passion, and the wonky different sizes made them worse. I knew there would be people who would hate the turquoise reveal (too much turquoise! open shelving! you’re hoarding the world’s Pyrex and driving prices up – the last one is an actual angry comment from an Apartment Therapy reader), but I was unprepared for folks passionately loving the before. I’m never hurt or deterred by negative comments because I’m totally smitten with my house, but for a second I felt really…different. Was I the only person who saw the before as a dark, awkward, tired space? After I shared the makeover, I was certain some folks would have other suggestions, because this makeover could have taken many different directions: black lowers and white uppers, soft mint lowers with more open shelving to the right of the window, new cupboard doors and Martha Stewart greige…but none have materialized (other than the suggestion to add more orange). Other than that, I’ve mostly witnessed a polarized group of votes: yay! (which, happily, there’s many more votes for) or total nay, “bring back the oak!,” which really surprised me. I thought for sure there would be other suggestions for a less nutty colour, so it was really eye-opening to realize so many people prefer the wood un-painted, as-is. Very interesting indeed. As interesting as I have found the feedback, it would have been swell if some people had been a little less mean-spirited about voicing their oak preference!
A story that recently ran online in Elle Decor and then House Beautiful listed my kitchen as one of 10 brilliant decorating ideas from bloggers. Better still, I was lumped in with Design Love Fest, Decor8, Vintage Revivals, Little Green Notebook, and The Hunted Interior, among others. That’s a pretty important “yay” in my books and it put a smile on face (it was a welcome reprieve from negative comments), so I wanted to share my happy news with you. (A huge thanks to Shavonda for drawing my attention to the article!). And a huge thanks to you for always leaving such kind, thoughtful, and constructive comments. I read each and every one and even when you’ve made suggestions or disliked something, you’ve always been so deeply courteous and have clearly remembered that there’s a person click-clacking away behind here – something I think too many people forget. So thanks. You’re all really awesome and I’m happy you stop by! You motivate and inspire me more than anything.
I think if you tried to design a house that everyone likes:1. You would pull all your hair out2. Have the blandest looking home everYou LOVE your kitchen and that is all that matters! YOU are the person living there and using it every day. Maybe some people are just jealous that you were able to take a risk and they are still stuck in their white carrara marble with white cabinets and subway tiled kitchens. Congrats on the Elle Decor feature!
I would never tried to design a home everyone likes. I guess I should say, "again". I was miserable trying to keep things neutral and "sell-able" in the townhouse. It hurt my brain always trying to figure out what an imaginary, future buyer would pick.I totally understand an all-white kitchen when there's big bucks on the line. I'm planning something more neutral for our permanent reno. In the meantime, this has been fun – anything but the before, for me!
congrats! that's awesome!
Thanks!!
I am totally with you; shitting on somebody else's idea of a beautiful kitchen also brings me no joy. It also makes me sad to realise that people are cruel about your kitchen in anonymous fora. I am with you, all the way: the "before" kitchen isn't my taste either, DO NOT BRING BACK THE OAK! I don't think I could live with the turquoise personally, but I deeply admire your gutsy choice for all things brightly coloured in your kitchen. Open shelving isn't my thing, mostly because I don't think I could manage the dirt and having to keep everything looking beautiful at all times (thanks for the post on cleaning the dusty bits! So much less bad than I thought it would be!). Your collection of pyrex is amazing. I totally admire it. People are crazy, k? You have a kitchen that you love and fulfills your needs, forget the jerks who said you obviously can't cook. Hah! You guys are fab. Thanks for writing with such candour. Xx
Isn't it weird that people make such judgements from seeing a space? I was stunned when people assumed I don't cook. I'm too poor to not cook, and I live in the boons where pizza delivery is surely off the menu, lol. I'm just de-cluttering everything in my life – from my closet to my kitchen, in the move I've kept the essentials or things I love. It weirds people out, though, big time! Thanks for your kind words 🙂
To each their own said the old lady as she kissed the cow. I love your kitchen, it's not something I would have come up with if I were redoing a kitchen, but it's wonderful, so full of personality. I went back to look at the before picture, it was builder grade blah, what you did is such and improvement.
I think I'm just so used to every design magazine, blogger, and tv makeover show painting out that kind of 1980s/90s oak that I assumed it was the general consensus. Yes, my choices were out there, but the idea of painting it – even white or grey – seemed like something we all agreed on, lol. I'm re-thinking whether the label of this style of kitchen as "dated" is something only a minority of the population agrees on… It was definitely eye-opening.
The after is so much better than before! I't was really dark and claustrophobic looking before (I hope I don't offend) and whilst Turquoise isn't my colour of choice, I think it looks great and I'm rather envious of your lovely kitchen! Shame on you for being a Pyrex hoarder though, how dare you drive up the worlds Pyrex prices! Your as bad as the oil company's keeping petrol at above a £1 a litre! 😂 people are very strange indeed and maybe need to look at the real issues. Xx
The Pyrex comment made me literally LOL. I always hope that people get as worked up about issues that matter, not just rallying against someone's makeover or DIY project. That's the stuff that is supposed to be fun and relaxing, not work people into a furious lather.
Sounds like it's time for the reassuring "it doesn't matter what they think" cliche. Except it's true!I am so inspired by you and have incorporated many of your wonderful ideas into my own home. I was out with six girlfriends for one friend's birthday dinner and we got on the topic of buying furniture. One friend said, "I would never get what Lindsey and Andrew have… I'm not into 'old' stuff." And all of my dearest friends NODDED THEIR HEADS IN AGREEMENT.It had never dawned on me that all my friends think our midcentury modern style is unattractive and dated! But you know what? I think people appreciate and respect seeing others embrace and style and assemble piece in beautiful ways, as you have done. Just love it and live in it and let it make you smile. That joy is what others see and what is the most welcoming.That, and cute dog.
Very true – it doesn't matter! But I can't help but be puzzled and bewildered. It's been such an eye opener, because I seem to live in the land of "paint the oak," and I think it's got a smaller population than the "we love the oak" world.Your friends are WEIRD! Lol. I was reading another blog today and the stylish blogger who pens it wrote that she swapped her Target accent/reading chair for a vintage one and she claims it more mature and authentic. So there?It's so true that we all have different style and I find that's what makes reading design blogs and magazines interesting. I love looking at spaces I might not recreate, just for fun! And, it helps my wallet, too, because I can look without pining, haha. Wish more people could find joy in seeing something different. But we get it.
Tanya, there's an old Sandra Boynton cartoon called "Don't Let the Turkeys Get You Down" (http://buttonmuseum.org/sites/default/files/turkeys_get_you_down_button_busy_beaver_button_museum.png) that hails back tot he '90s and it still applies today! While great friendships are forged on the net, unfortunately it also creates a lot of trolls living under bridges who would *never* have the imagination you and your hubby have shown with your wonderful kitchen makeover. For the record, I'm old enough to be your mum and I had one of those oak kitchens in the 90's and absolutely hated it! It got painted over pronto, because it was in good condition but looked awful. Keep up the wonderful work on your new home!
Haha, I know the one!! I actually include a photo of the cartoon the last time I addressed negative comments (back in 2012 – was it really that long ago?): http://dans-le-townhouse.blogspot.ca/2012/07/my-first-experience-with-negative.htmlShe's so witty – she totally cracks me up. I knew the turquoise kitchen would not be to everyone's taste, but the passion for the before was so surprising! Happy to hear you were able to paint your oak cabinets into submission and make the kitchen more your taste 🙂 Thanks for your kind words!
Congratulations! We can't possibly make everyone happy! I wish I could make such a bold statement with my kitchen but I can't! But at least I am happy to see that others (like you) managed to change theirs into something they really wanted!So again congrats for doing it and congrats for making it into the world of great bloggers!And yes I keep voting!AriadnefromGreece!
Thanks so much for your support! Since you've starting leaving comments, I look forward to reading them because you're always so upbeat and positive – I love that! Thank you so much for sharing your happiness and positivity with me 🙂
I never understand the mindset of the people who come online and slam others. Are they so unhappy in their own crappy little worlds that they get some pleasure out of trying to hurt people, or are they so dense that they don't know the difference between constructive criticism and rudeness? Anyway, it's you being featured in the press, not them…so screw 'em, I always say. :)Congrats on the recent press! That's fantastic.
I've been thinking a lot about it, because when it's about something more serious it can be really damaging. I read an article recently that suggested our brains are wired to respond to people's facial expressions and when we communicate online, we lose those signals and our communication devolves. We lose empathy, sympathy, compassion – it's actually kind of terrifying. I've seen people really go to the mattresses not only for their "right" to say what they want online – including my little space – but also to redefine norms and suggest that when you put something "out there," you should expect negative criticism. That says a lot about the mindset of some people. And it saddens me. Anyway, I think a lot (too much?) about this as a wider social issue. It's actually very interesting to me, but then I like people watching too.Thanks for the kind words! You've always been so sweet to me 🙂
congratulations! internet comments are so strange. Although, if you're feeling guilty, you're welcome to share the wealth and send some of your pyrex on down to me 😉
Haha, I was hoping people would feel so bad for me they'd send me some. Lol.
"To avoid criticism, do nothing, say nothing, and be nothing." Elbert HubbardI love the turquoise! I wouldn't change a thing in that after photo.
So very true! And thanks for the "yay" 🙂
That colour took cahones, bebe! I know it's temporary and all but I think all your attention and accolades are well deserved. Pooh on naysayers. Well, not actually 😉 But you know, metaphorically speaking. You must be doing something right. Right? Keep on keepin on.
I promise I will keep on keepin on with a vengeance. There are so many more things to turquoise-ify. Do you think everyone will be disappointed when my "forever" kitchen isn't so nutty? I feel like by then bright kitchens will be the norm and all the comments on posts featuring the turquoise as the before and my shiny new high end kitchen with lots of walnut wood and white will get a thumbs down. "We liked the before," they'll chant. Lol.
I love your kitchen! Haters gonna hate, don't even read it!
I've had to stop, but I have this morbid fascination! I'm so very curious about what goes on in the minds of people. Not only the ones who like the before, but also people who feel compelled to be negative. I find myself drawn to them, like I'm studying the mating rituals of zebras or something…
Oh, and I'm so rude: thank you!! 🙂
People can be so mean. That's the perfect kitchen FOR YOU, and you did it all yourself, and that's what matters. I admire it extravagantly! You go, Turquoise Girl!
Thank you!! It's definitely perfect for us and every day it makes us smile.
I wonder if all the naysayers would comment as negatively if they had to post a picture of their own space and listen to critiques. It takes a lot of guts to put yourself out there. I find your design style refreshing and very interesting. I look forward to see what you come up with next. p.s. I despise cathedral cabinets too.
Haha – that's a good point!! People have used the excuse that I'm "putting myself out there" and so I should expect and accept negative criticism, but that's a pretty slippery slope. I've also heard free speech used as a tidy defense, but I'm certain it's intended application is so we can protect our rights and be engaged and informed citizens – not so much to tell someone their kitchen is ugly. Plus, the right only extends so far as to reach someone willing to hear another person's ideas. I'm not obliged to listen. At the end of the day, it seems like a sad expression of such an important right. I'm secretly happy you dislike cathedral cabinets too. And thanks for the vote of confidence 🙂 I've got some interesting things in the works…
I was so happy for you when I saw your kitchen featured at Elle's site! I can honestly say it's one of my favorite makeovers and truly is Elle-worthy. There will always be naysayers and some of the readers at Apt. Therapy can be a trip, to say the least. I've seen readers give advice when it's not asked, such as in a contest when you post a room as an entry. SMH. I read a lot of decor magazines and the rooms/homes that really take a chance and have something that stand out are those you find in the magazines. Unfortunately a powerful room will have some criticism, but you seem to have handled it well. 🙂
I'm learning that the AT readers might be the nicest, lol. There are MUCH harsher comments on some other sites – which was news to me! I'm going to go give those AT naysayers a hug, because they're normally quite diplomatic – by comparison! People seem to live on air, water, and giving advice. I know in real life I give too much, but online I try to just look and enjoy. I'm trying to be cool, calm and collected but I'm starting to get a bit annoyed by the vehemence with which negative commenters defend their right to be negative and sometimes downright rude and insensitive. I hate this redefinition of social norms but I don't know how much energy I want to devote to it.
The internet is so weird. "I'm sorry random stranger I don't know. I forgot that you also lived in my house and I should have consulted you about the kitchen makeover".I also can't believe the fact that you own ALL THE PYREX IN THE WORLD… That is quite a feat you've managed haha.
The internet is very weird. But it's actually really blown my mind how many people like an older style oak kitchen. I've been paying attention and it's come up on other makeovers too. I've been so immersed in the world of "paint all of the oak," that I honestly didn't realize there were so many folks who liked it! My whole perception of what is popular has been shifted. Do DIY magazines and blogs only cater do a minority of homeowners/renters? SO interesting.And yes, I have worked tirelessly to buy all of the Pyrex. It's been my evil plan. Next: the Finnish crystal.
I have to say, when I saw your kitchen on Home Talk on Facebook I defended it like it was my own. Like my own blood, sweat and tears went into the makeover. For some irrational reason I am protective of your kitchen lol. When I see grown adults use words like "gross" or "ugly" to describe something they don't like it makes me itch like a cheap wool sweater. How hard is it to say "not my style, i don't really like it"? I can't wait for tact and manners to come back into style. I swear some people acted like painting wood was comparable to drowning puppies or something. Ridiculous. Let's not forget all the people who don't bother to read the text and just look at the pictures and respond. Saying you should have done this or that instead, or that it would bring down house value……when you clearly stated it was a temporary makeover until enough was saved for a larger makeover. Gotta love the anonymity of the internet huh? Anyways, contracts on the press and upcoming projects.
Oh crap, I didn't even see it on Facebook. On the website it generated hundreds of comments and among those there were negative ones. But also nice ones. And then strangers jumped to my defense. Overall, the balance was in my favor, haha. But, interestingly, comments got nicer the more I replied and connected with readers – the less anonymous I was, and the more they got to see and hear from the real person behind the space.I'm not on FB so I didn't even see it there. Thanks so much for defending it! You're so sweet. Man, doesn't it get frustrating how little people read the text? It's like they say "oh, no time to read this because I have opinions I must immediately share!" Well, don't let them bug you. I don't!I do find some of the negative comments to be a bit juvenile. But then, it's easier to just dismiss them entirely, you know?
Absolutely. And I totally agree about the "no time to read, I have an opinion i must share" thing, that's totally what it is like.
I only read a few comments from this makeover, which featured a dark oak kitchen modernized with white paint. There are people who love the before. I feel better, because this makeover is far more gorgeous than mine. I think some people just love wood – the end:http://www.housebeautiful.com/decorating/home-makeovers/kitchen-remodel-color-hometalk-elledecor#slide-2
Love your kitchen – I'd probably go with orange or yellow bar stools though – another country heard from ;+} And I ADORE your Pryrex collection – I'm keeping my eye out here in AU with no luck. Aw – just ignore them – it's your kitchen – do what you want.
Awww, thanks so much! Pyrex is getting harder and harder to find – I hope you're able to snag some great pieces. Sometimes it just takes patience. I'll hit the same thrift store dozens of times and then, one day, I'll find a gem 🙂
Congratulations! So fun to be featured on design mag sites that you love and amongst bloggers that you admire.Gawd, the negative comments make me crazy- stupid internet. I want to read differing opinions on many issues/ideas but the hate is off-putting. I do find apartment therapy readers are particularly critical- omg, don't you dare paint real wood!! Some commenters are so outraged, you'd think that you'd snuck in their apartment and painted their cherished wood family heirloom rather than some dilapidated and otherwise unrepairable curb-side find that actually belongs to you. Arrrrgh! And I've never seen such a polarizing topic as open shelving in a kitchen. I am not surprised that your kitchen remodel garnered so many negative comments. I think your kitchen is brave- not just because it might not appeal to everyone but even when you use your favourite colour, in a big way, to design a space perfectly suited to you, it is still a bold choice. Painting a wall in a bold colour, not such a big commitment- if you tire of it after a month, it's nothing an afternoon and roller couldn't rectify. Good for you for choosing something that scares the heck out of most of us- clearly how much you love it is testament to the great reward of doing something big. I admire your courage to do something you really love even if it goes against the grain- it's because you did something different that you've been noticed and featured- kudos! Here's to all the readers who leave supportive comments and respect someone's choice to design their space the way that makes its their home. I wish the others would hold their tongues.
I feel very, very lucky!! The internet, by and large, has been good to me and if there has been a wash of negative comments before now, I haven't known, lol! Now I've just got to keep my head down and keep working. Can't really read the comments on other sites anymore – it's just too distracting.I have heard other people comment, on other sites, that reading purely negative comments makes reading a post less enjoyable for them. It's sad that some folks make things less fun for everyone. Although now I'm thinking AT readers aren't that bad, lol, not by comparison! Thanks so much for your kind words. I've really appreciated your comments over the years. I'm not ashamed to say that it's NICE to hear something nice. It always makes my day 🙂
I have seen your kitchen popping up EVERYWHERE lately, it's been all over my Facebook newsfeed. And I always always always at least like it and try to comment in actual words that I like it too, to offset the negative stuff. I also think it's crazy when people comment on a picture without reading the story- because if they just read then they'd know that it isn't permanent, and that you did a follow up on the open shelving, and that the counters were so impressively done by your hubby. I love following your blog and ideas, and my house looks nothing like yours, and that doesn't mean we can't appreciate each others styles 🙂
I shudder to think of the feedback, lol. Thanks for trying to offset the negative – that's so sweet of you! But don't waste too much energy on these folks. I find the more removed people are from the source, the meaner comments go. They forget a person is involved. It's only a room, sigh.The reading comprehension is brutal, though. It horrifies me how little people want to read. They just skip to the part where they get to put in their two cents, lol.
It's your home, your kitchen and you decide how you want it to look. I love your kitchen (the Pyrex is beautiful), the rest of your house, and, of course, your very cute dog. Oh, and I voted (again and again)… ;)Linda
Hi Linda, thanks for your vote of confidence and your actual vote 🙂
I love your kitchen. I'm discovering that turquoise is finding its way into our master bedroom. It was totally unexpected but it is a very cheery color. It started with a huge fabric art scene that we purchased at the Marimekko store in Vancouver. Then it migrated to fabric I purchased for a large chair I inherited. At the same time I bought fabric for some cushions for our bed, again turquoise, moss green and gold. (Haven't made the cushions yet! Soon.) Our daughters bedroom is variations on turquoise and teal. I made curtains for her room with fabric purchased at Marimekko from which we took the paint colors. Today before I even read your blog I unfollowed AT. There are way too many negative nellies out there. What ever happened to the saying 'If you haven't got anything nice to say, don't say anything at all!' I guess the Internet is just toooo anonymous. So sad… As I've said before, the reason I binge-read your blog from the beginning was because I enjoyed your style of writing. Everyone can have different decorating ideas and I have gleaned so much from your site and others. I graze to get ideas not to criticize. Keep writing your blog for those of us who enjoy it.
Uh oh – turquoise is highly addictive, lol. Which fabric scene drew you in? I love Marimekko – now I'm dying to know which one scene you have and what kind of pattern you bought for your daughter's room. I'm sorry – I'm so, so nosy. The combo of turquoise, moss green and gold sounds perfect. I like that turquoise is so versatile. It can look good with cool silver and greys but also look smashing with warm golds and oranges. Your bedroom sounds absolutely beautiful. It's a shame you had to unfollow AT – there are so many wonderful ideas on the website. I've stopped reading the blog, for the most part, but I enjoy following them on Instagram. I find there are more diplomatic comments there (maybe because it's less anonymous, like you said) and lots of pretty pictures. I'm happy you've said you enjoy my style of writing. Despite what the abundance of typos might lead one to believe, I spend a long time on each post. Probably too much time, re-writing everything. I wonder sometimes if I'm too meandering and wordy, but I like to tell stories and since I've cut back the number of posts, they've grown longer. I always wonder how I come across in print. I am constantly cracking jokes in real life – most of them at my expense – but in text, that self-deprecation doesn't always come across the same. I can't make my accompanying facial expression and emoticons don't do them justice. But you made it through hundreds of posts and aren't sick of me, so that motivates me to keep writing. But, you know, if you had any constructive criticism, I'd be happy to hear it. I'd like for my writing to improve. One thing I'm working on is to vary my vocabulary. I read "love it," "beautiful" and "excited" many times a day, so I'm challenging myself not to lean on these words so heavily – although in comments and on instagram, I use them with a vengeance.
And I keep forgetting this: thank you!! Thank you so much for your kind words. Where are my manners today?
I have loved your blog and all of your style choices since I discovered this site. I find them amazing and refreshing, especially since you lived in and are still so close to Minnesota, which seems to have oak-love mainlined at birth. I would count it as a major compliment that you were criticized at AT. They would cut God down to size; truly, they seem to revel in bashing almost every change, design, choice, etc. and soon no one will want to post on their site because of the negativity. You keep doing exactly what you are doing. We need your kind of vision, especially in the north woods, where winters are interminable and bright colors are a must.I'm signing as anonymous because I don't know how to do otherwise, but I am a Minnesotan.
I am definitely a stone's throw from Minnesota. A very short throw. I haven't ever lived there, just close – although I have vacationed many times in various cities and towns in the state. The state is one of my favorite places to travel – particularly Grand Marais and Duluth – those places feel like a second home to me. So it it VERY nice to hear from a Minnesotan! Hi! I wonder if our paths have every crossed?I do love wood myself and am planning a walnut vanity for my bath reno, but there's a certain kind of oak I just don't love. But I love what you say about having oak-love mainlined at birth, lol. That's funny!I'm so happy you enjoy the blog. It's funny, someone told me that in our cold climate I should be decorating with hot hues, like red and orange. But I was just reading a recent issue of a Canadian design magazine, Style at Home, and they suggested cooler colours for our wintry locale because they complement and don't compete with mother nature. I agree with you that when the skies are grey and the snow stretches on forever, saturated colour is a welcome relief. I've been finding bright colours very invigorating and mood-boosting, which is a pleasant surprise. I had a much milder colour palette before, so I wasn't sure how these bright colours would make me feel.I have noticed with commenters on AT that they're never happy. They complain when people do the same, classic choices ("boring!"), they complain when someone does something different ("weird!"). Do people just have bad days and go online to vent? I used to be a waitress, and sometimes I could sense people were taking a bad day out on me – they'd been put down and work and needed someone else to put down in turn. I have also heard people comment that there seems to be fewer and fewer submissions to AT. I'm not sure if that's true, but if it is, I wonder if it's because people don't like the feedback? Unless you're a blogger or other kind of business person who benefits from the exposure and traffic, then a main reason to submit might be for someone to say, "nice," or offer some kind of suggestions, "have you seen this BLANK that might be a better fit". To just hear "blah, hate it" is certainly not fun. I personally love seeing different spaces – achievable, lived-in ones. I hope they're wrong and it just seems likes there are fewer submissions. I like the inspiration!Anyway, can you tell I am a Chatty Cathy? I could really yammer on forever. Thanks so much for your comment. I really enjoyed reading it, and learning a bit more about my neighbours in Minnesota! Also, I enjoyed the pep talk! I don't know why people who admit they like hearing nice things keep getting put down for it, like it's egotistical or narcissistic. I LOVE when someone says something kind or flattering or affirming or encouraging. I'll take them all! It definitely makes me smile 🙂 So thank you, so much, for the kind words!
My word, seeing it published I realize how huge this comment was!! Lol.