Comments on: 3+ Months Without Hubby

By: Tanya from Dans le Townhouse

Tanya from Dans le Townhouse — Sun, 26 May 2013 23:37:30 +0000

Thanks so much for sharing your sweet story! I love that you ended up together and that even time apart, in the early stages, didn't make a difference. It's sounds like you found an amazing partner!!Thanks for saying I'm brave, but I just kind of found myself in the situation after a series of (happy) accidents. I'm also lucky to have such a supportive partner. Not every Hubby would have been so cool about it.

By: weirdscience

weirdscience — Sun, 26 May 2013 17:42:54 +0000

I left my boyfriend behind and went to Australia for a few months. We'd only been together for 4 months when I left and I'd already booked the trip before we met. He simply said "I'll be here when you get back" – how sweet!I had a ton of fun when I was there, but I was supposed to stay for 8 months and work, experience a different kind of life…but I realized that Australia wasn't where I wanted to be at the time. Everyone in their 20s goes there to party and sit on the beach (I'm not really that kind of girl) plus it's darn expensive there!So I came back after 2 months and my boyfriend and I moved in together, 2 years later I don't regret coming back early whatsoever, but of course my family still thinks I ditched my trip for loooooove. I think it's important to be your own person when you're in a relationship, so many people become melded to each other and totally reliant. You're so brave to have gone away to do something you were passionate about!! Just discovered your blog today and now I'm soaking it all up, loving it!

By: Tanya from Dans le Townhouse

Tanya from Dans le Townhouse — Fri, 07 Dec 2012 23:29:08 +0000

In reply to cred.

Ah yes, it took me exactly 13 months to wash a shirt Hubby wore to a summer wedding, so I understand about things giving. But, really, we all have too many clothes anyway! I do imagine home schooling takes a bit less time for the kids – but still oodles of prep and work for you! I love the idea of home schooling, by the way. Whenever I was home from school sick, I was always amazed at how much MORE I learned (both my parents are teachers) and how much better I understood the material. I'm not going to stop being amazed at you. Sorry :)I think I might have laughed if it was my boot, too, but only if I didn't find it with my foot. We found it via the smell. I'm just happy the stench was not coming from the boot itself.

By: cred

cred — Fri, 07 Dec 2012 20:30:43 +0000

No, no, not superwoman. When I have projects on the go, something has to give, bigger piles of laundry or less sleep. And home school takes much less time than people would imagine since the kid to teacher ratio is 2:1 (in our case) and you can skip several days and catch up whenever, wkends, summer- very flexible. I laughed out loud about the mouse in the boot- BUT if it was in my boot, it would be a scream and a shudder.

By: Tanya from Dans le Townhouse

Tanya from Dans le Townhouse — Thu, 06 Dec 2012 23:43:47 +0000

In reply to cred.

I loved hearing about all the things you did while Hubby was away. I am so impressed you home school and still had time to renovate your bedroom on your own!! That is amazing. I am starting to think you might be one of those super-women, and I wouldn't doubt that you do indeed have very interesting stories – not just from before, either. I agree about the food: Hubs like to eat at certain times, certain foods (MEAT! he all but screams) but I am less concerned. I will work through dinner if I am on a roll and that freedom here has been nice. I am skipping a meal right now, lol.And, yup, I do seem to have some traditional folks in my life. Luckily, though, I also have people who are really open minded and just curious, not judgmental. But I am always happy to share my perspective on things, because I know sometimes how we live is a touch different.Hubby took care of the dead mouse in the wine bottle. Blech. And the one that died in his boot. I can't even type that without laughing.

By: Tanya from Dans le Townhouse

Tanya from Dans le Townhouse — Thu, 06 Dec 2012 23:37:20 +0000

In reply to Dana@Mid2Mod.

Oh, you two would get along so well!! My Mom is hilarious and so kind to everyone. Let's hope a meeting happens! We can have a mother-daughter day 🙂

By: cred

cred — Thu, 06 Dec 2012 22:25:32 +0000

Great post! It's something readers wonder- how you cope without your spouse for 3 months. But giving it thought, I could do it too- just as you describe, you're busy, you're having an adventure... And I agree with having separate experiences to maintain your independence and keeping things interesting. I stay at home (homeschooling) with my kids and sometimes it feels like I haven't much to share about our day. However, I was single for a long time before I met my husband and I had lots of adventures, some that he's never heard of- occasionally, I still can bust out a story he's never heard. My husband was away for a month this sept and I was just fine (although that's not so long and we chatted on skype) because I could do all those things that I can't while he's home- staying overnight with the kids at a friends, lingering wherever we are, rather than rushing home to sit down to dinner, and messing up the house. In this case, I renovated our bedroom- painting, building a wardrobe/closet, light fixtures, rods & curtains, the works. I could make a big mess and just sleep on the sofa without worrying about where we would both sleep. He hates being away but I relished being 'temporarily single' again. It's not about having to answer to someone, but it's about being there when he comes home because I want to be. So, occasionally it's good to only worry about yourself (and the kiddos, of course). And the absence/fondness idiom is absolutely true. Missing someone is good to remind us of the things we love and forget about the small annoyances that don't mean anything in the big picture. Also, to those that wonder 'how you do it' but really mean 'why you do it'- few people question those that have to travel away from family for work. This is your work- yes you could choose not to do your PHD research but is not doing it because you don't want to be away from your husband for 3 months a good reason? People are funny, sometimes. Yes, I do think it's brave to leave for 3 months (perhaps not your-husband-away-at-war-for-a-year brave but still brave) but you have a career goal. Others shouldn't diminish your aspirations b/c they can't understand 'choosing' to be away from your spouse. Our thinking seems to be firmly locked into our traditional roles/expectations? Good on you!ps- I like that you do so much yourself but still let him deal with the centipedes. I'm much the same, a DIYer and doer of many unsavoury jobs but I let my guy take care of a mouse in the trap (ewww!)- ya know, so he can demonstrate his manliness! Unfortunately, where we live, mice are unavoidable- and I despise them so.

By: Dana@Mid2Mod

Dana@Mid2Mod — Thu, 06 Dec 2012 22:25:27 +0000

In reply to Dana@Mid2Mod.

I really enjoyed meeting you and your hubby, so I would love for you and your mom to make a trip to Texas. That would be so much fun!!! I look forward to your stories about her, and I would very much like to meet her.

By: Tanya from Dans le Townhouse

Tanya from Dans le Townhouse — Thu, 06 Dec 2012 21:48:48 +0000

In reply to sandpaperandglue.

That is so exciting!!! I wish him luck on the book. You are so sweet for editing his work. Hubby edits my work too – the blog included. He actually has the login, so he can change my (many) typos as soon as he spots them, lol.

By: sandpaperandglue

sandpaperandglue — Thu, 06 Dec 2012 18:14:27 +0000

In reply to sandpaperandglue.

He shares things he writes for work and school, mainly so I can proof them- but he's writing a book right now as well and he won't let me see it until he gets through a few drafts. 🙂